Post by Gcio on Sept 8, 2008 18:40:40 GMT -5
Fushi: Heeey, it's been a while.
Ichigo: Nya, hello~
Mint: *sips ghost tea* ...
Fushi: Well, since the doujinshi reviews are on hiatus, I figured now would be a good time to MST another fanfic.
Ichigo: Yay!
Mint: Whatever.
Fushi: Now that I think about it, maybe I should put the doujinshi reviews on the website, too.
Mint: Oh god no.
Ichigo: Those doujins... were scary...
Mint: I'll never look at Kish the same way again. Or Pai.
Lettuce: Well, more for me!
Kish: Hey, girls!
Ichigo, Mint, Lettuce: *GLARE*
Mew Mew Sakura! Metamorphosis! by YangWoof
Mint: An OC, huh?
Fushi: How many "Mew Sakura"s are there, anyway?
Kish: Eh, more than I can count.
Ichigo: How much you wanna bet that I'll be replaced in this fic?
Mint: Ugh, no bets, please. You always forget about them until after you've lost, and I hate having to listen to you whine about it.
Meet Sakura, an average teenage girl who, with Ichigo's help, discovers that she is a crime-fighting mutant superhero.
Ichigo: "Crime-fighting"... can't you just say "Mew Mew"?
Fushi: Yeah, the only MEWtants around here are Zoey, Corina--
Mint: *arrowpwn*
Follow her story on what being a Mew Mew has done to her life, causing most of it to turn upside down.
Ichigo: Ah, "Mew Mew". That's better.
Mint: But that was right in the next sentence... Fushi, don't you ever read ahead?
Fushi: Ehh, of course not! It's much more aMEWsing this way!
Mint: *arrowpwn*
!Under threat of discontinuation!
Fushi: Already? But it was just updated today.
Ichigo: Well, at least you won't have to bookmark it and wait for updates.
Fushi: True. (For that reason, it's better to choose older fics to MST...)
Hi and thank you for choosing to read this fanfic. I really appreaciate you choosing me to read so i hope you enjoy it.
Mint: "Appreciate".
Fushi: Wait... is the fanfic talking to us?
Ichigo: That's creepy.
Mint: It's an author's note, guys. It's supposed to be... wait, does that say "me"?
Fushi: Exactly!
Please review me, it only takes up less than two minutes of your time (unless you're gonna write a really long review XD)
Ichigo: Again with "me".
Fushi: I guess this would count as a "really long review". Ecksdee.
Well i think i should shut up so you can read me like you was planning to do, why else would you click on me?
Mint: "Were". Like you were planning to do.
Ichigo: Actually, we-- well, yeah, we did click on it to read...
Fushi: In a sense, yes.
Chapter One: Introducing Sakura: The Teenage Butterfly!
Kish: This Sakura chick sounds hot.
Mint: This Sakura chick sounds like a Mary-Sue.
Fushi: This Sakura chick sounds--
Konnichiwa! Watashi wa Sakura To Iimas.
Fushi: ...Wapanese.
Mint: Oh, dear god, you got a weeaboo fic.
Ichigo: It's only the first sentence and I already want to claw something, nya.
Mint: Not me, I'm already a ghost.
I am a Junior at High School, I get good grades and I have a great bunch of friends. I was just an average teenage girl - note that I said was.
Mint: Emphasis on "was". Pretty generic so far.
Ichigo: I hope she gets paired with Kish. Then he'll have someone else's vegetables to steal.
Kish: Score!
Summer is usually the time to relax, get a healthy tan, go on holiday and take a break from school and work. So why did I spend my last summer battling aliens?
Fushi: Because you are a boring, generic Mary-Sue.
Ichigo: She can't be that boring if you can stand to MST it.
Fushi: One-chapter MST of a boring fic, I can stand. Ten chapters, though...
Mint: Don't worry, there are only nine here.
Fushi: Yaaay.
It all started in Autumn 2006, when we began our freshman year at High school…
Fushi: All the cool kids say "200X".
Mint: You're not cool.
“Ohayou, Sakura-chan!” Minako greeted as she appeared next to me outside of the school gates.
Mint: "Ohayou", "-chan". Write in English, ya damn weeaboo.
Fushi: "-chan"s aren't that bad, you know. Not as bad as that "iimas" back there. That's as bad as using "dess".
Mint: You're a weeaboo, too.
Fushi: Dammit.
“Ohayou.” I turned my head to smile at her, my pink bangs moving with my head.
Mint: Does that really need describing?
Ichigo: *sigh* Another pink Mew Mew.
Fushi: No, Ichigo, she's not pink. Sure, her bangs are pink, but the rest of her hair is a disgusting shade of puke-green.
Ichigo: ....*sigh* Another green Mew Mew.
Jade: Hey!
“Can you believe it, we’re in High school!” Minako beamed as we began to walk through the school gates.
Fushi: Uhh. Assuming you two are the same age, you're in 11th grade. You're juniors. You've been in high school for two years already.
Mint: The author of this fic is probably nine or somethin'.
Fushi: Mooost likely.
“I know, it seems like only yesterday when we were in diapers.” I said in a mocking tone.
Minako didn’t notice the mockery in my voice. “I know, crazy isn’t it?”
Mint: Yeah, mock your friends. That Sakura, what a pal.
Ichigo: This fic isn't funny.
Mint: This MST isn't funny.
Fushi: Needs moar Wapanese.
Mint: No!!
I giggled at her simplicity. “Yeah, sure is.” I tried to sound like I was serious, but unfortunately, I failed. There was a hint of sarcasm in my voice which Minako spotted.
“Same old Sakura.” She laughed.
“Hey Minako!” Minako turned her head to see a girl with crimson hair walking up to her, waving her hand in the air.
Fushi: Crimson, crimson... ... ... ... !! ... *w*
Mint: No, Fushi, this is a Tokyo Mew Mew fic.
Fushi: ...... ;A;
“Oh, hey Ichigo!” Minako waved her hand in return while I just stood there…well I don’t really know what I was doing or feeling or thinking.
Kish: EEEEEEMOOOOO
Minako turned her head back me. “Sakura, this is Ichigo. She’s my next door neighbor. We’ve become really close friends over the summer.”
Mint: Brace for oncoming angst.
Fushi: Especially that of the Ichigo-bashing variety.
Ichigo: Nyaaa... ;-;
Ichigo turned her head to me and smiled. “Ohayou, Sakura-chan.”
I smiled awkwardly at her. “Hey.”
Mint: Ssh, ssh...
Fushi: What?
*pause*
Mint: .....I SAID, HEY!
Ichigo: Guuu~ Oh, hey, Mint!
Mint: Be good... or I might BUY--
Fushi: Stop that! ;-;
I wasn’t shy or anything. I don’t know why I acted it. I think it was because of the fact that Minako had made a new friend while I had only been back in Japan for three days, because I had just got back from visiting my grandparents in Malta.
Kish: Never heard of it.
Ichigo: Sounds like a soft drink.
“Hey Ichigo, where’s your form room?” I heard Minako ask her new friend.
“1-C.” Ichigo answered, looking at a piece of paper that was in her hand.
“Ooh, me too.” Minako smiled as the bell rang. “Let’s walk together Ichigo.” Minako linked Ichigo’s arm and walked to registration, leaving me in the school yard.
Fushi: GAAAAAAY
Mint: *arrowpwn*
This is going to be a long first day, I thought as I slowly followed the two new best friends.
“I can’t believe Ichigo just left us there.” I turned my head to see a blonde girl musing to her brown haired friend.
Ichigo: Hey, it's my friends Filler 1 and Filler 2! How are ya, guys?
Mint: Don't talk to the fic. Just ignore it, and it'll go away.
“I know. Just because she has a new friend, doesn’t mean that she can ditch her old ones.”
Fushi: PFFFFFF
The brown haired girl replied, turning her eyes to me as she walked past. She leaned her head towards the blonde girl, not taking her eyes off me as she whispered something.
Fushi: (as Filler 1) *whisper* Heeey... Filler 2, let's make that one our next rape victim.
Ichigo: (as Filler 2) *whisper* Ew, are you sure? Her hair is all gross and she talks about diapers.
Fushi: (as Filler 1) *whisper* Come onnnn~~~ We haven't raped anyone in so looong~~~
Mint: What the hell are you guys talking about?
(Note: I know they're Miwa and Moe. I just don't know which one is which. Shut up.)
The blonde girl nodded. “Hey, are you Minako’s friend?”
I nodded.
“Have you seen her with a red haired girl, recently?” The brown haired girl asked me.
Mint: (as Sakura) What, the one that was just here 30 seconds ago? Nope, never seen her in my life, why?
“Hai. They walked to registration together.” I replied, looking down. “They just left me here on my own.”
There was a moment of silence before both of my arms were linked with others.
Fushi: GAAAAAAAAAY and weeaboo.
Ichigo: (as Filler 2) Quick, Filler 1, grab her arms so she can't get away!
“Well, we’ve just been ditched too.” I heard the blonde one say as I looked up.
“Ichigo and Minako don’t need us anymore, so we’ll stick together for a while. Before they come to their senses and stop ignoring us.” The brown haired girl added.
“I’m Moh.” The blonde one smiled.
Mint: Pronounced "Maw".
“And I’m Miwa. And you’re Sakura, yes?”
Fushi: How would they know that? Miwa seems like more of a STALKura to me...
Mint: *arrowpwn*
“Hai.” I smiled.
“Well let’s get to registration.” Moh shouted
Ichigo: WHY ARE WE YELLING?
as the three of us laughed and headed to registration.
Maybe this day won’t be as long as I’d thought.
Fushi: Yeah, from where Ichigo stands so far... she's gonna be bashed.
“Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan!” Minako yelled
Ichigo: MORE YELLING!
from across the cafeteria. I smiled, then turned back to Miwa and Moh, who I’d got to know a lot better. They are really nice girls.
Mint: They're only pretending to be nice so they can rape her when she leasts expects it.
Kish: But that's what I was gonna do...
“So did you hear about coach Daini?” Moh began. “She’s apparently a lesbian.”
Miwa and I gasped.
Fushi: (as Miwa) Gasp.
Ichigo: (as Sakura) Gasp.
Fushi: (as Maw) lol inorite
“No way!” Miwa laughed.
“Is that why she became a P E teacher?” I asked, holding back a laugh.
Fushi: Because the only reason a lesbian could become a PE teacher is to sneak peeks at little girls' asses.
Kish: That's why I'd become a PE teacher.
Fushi: Kish, you're a lesbian?
Ichigo: I thought he was an elf.
“Probably.” Moh pressed her lips together, probably trying to stop herself from laughing.
“And who told you this?” Miwa asked, taking a bite out of her sandwich.
“Well, you know Keke Shimatari in Junior Year?”
Fushi: *flips out dictionary* "Shima"! Can mean "stripe" or "island". Ooh, stripes... "Tari"! ...means nothing. At least the names in the Kuro MST held some meaning.
Miwa and I nodded. Moh pierced a hole in her carton of orange juice before continuing. “Well, she was getting changed in the locker room, and Coach Daini couldn’t take her eyes off her. And one of Keke’s breasts was hanging out of her bra
Mint: I AM STARING IN HORROR AT YOUR DISGUSTING, FLOPPY AND WRINKLY BREASTS THEREFORE I AM A LESBIAN
and Coach Daini noticed, but didn’t say anything. Then Keke noticed her looking at her breast, so she looked down and saw her nipple on show.”
Fushi: Keke is a s!ut. Moving on.
Mint: So how is this conversation significant to the fanfic at all?
Ichigo: Talking about lesbians make 9-year-olds feel cool, nya.
Miwa and I looked at each other, then began to hysterically laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I heard Minako ask. I turned my head to see Minako looking at Miwa and me like we were lunatics.
Ichigo: But you ARE lunatics. D:
“Nothing.” Miwa answered before turning to her lunch.
“Konnichiwa, Miwa-chan! Moh-chan!” Ichigo smiled as she took a seat next to Moh.
“Hey Ichigo.” They said in unison with a monotone voice.
Fushi: Lunatics? More like jerks.
“So Ichigo.” Minako took the seat next to Ichigo, much to Moh’s dismay.
Fushi: Jerk.
“Do you wanna go to the mall with me later. We can check out that new CD store.”
Moh pushed her tray next to mine and exchanged seats so she was next to me.
Fushi: Jerk.
Mint: So is Ichigo and Minako, all of a sudden... "the enemy", now.
Ichigo: Huuuu~
Fushi: Apparently so. *pets Ichigo* There there, it's just a fanfic.
Ichigo: *sniffle* ...... *purr*
Kish: Goddammit! Now who am I supposed to make out with?
Ichigo: T^T Pai.
Kish: ...kay.
Lettuce: NOOOO
“Oh, I can’t. I’ve got to work at the café after school.” Ichigo answered sadly.
“Oh, well do you wanna come with me, Sakura-chan?” Minako asked.
Fushi: Once more!
Mint: Brace for oncoming angst!
Ichigo: Three! Two! One!
Kish: Boink.
“What?” I choked. Miwa and Moh gasped.
“So you’re only asking you’re ex best friend because you’re new best friend can’t make it?” Miwa asked, infuriated.
Fushi: Suddenly she's "ex".
Mint: (as Miyako) Sorry for making ONE new friend, I'll never do it again, master!
Kish: ...hot.
Mint: *arrowpwn*
“No it’s just that I-”
“Just what? You’re just gonna use Sakura because she’s a nice girl who doesn’t like to disappoint her friends?” Moh shouted.
Wow, these girls knew me so well.
Fushi: Annnnd, how long have they known her? Three, four hours? God, fics like this p!ss me off SO much.
Ichigo: Calm down, Fushi.
Mint: Oh, more shouting.
Ichigo: WHAT?
“I’m not using her I-I-” Minako was lost for words. Miwa and Moh had made a very good point.
Luckily for Minako, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.
“Well see you, Ichigo-chan.” And with that, Minako jolted out of the cafeteria.
Mint: I almost feel sorry for her.
Ichigo: Nya, this fic is too long. We're only halfway through chapter one.
Fushi: Just a little longer, and we can have an intermission.
Ichigo: Yay!
Lettuce: *stabbing Kish*
“What do you have now that she doesn’t?” Miwa asked Ichigo.
“P E.” Ichigo replied, not looking at her two friends in the eye.
“Oh no.” I began.
Fushi: Did you say... PE?
Ichigo: DUN DUN DUUUNN
Fushi: IT'S YURI TIME
Ichigo looked at me, slightly offended. “What?”
“We have Coach Daini.” I answered.
“Oh.” Ichigo sighed with relief that I didn’t mean ‘oh no Ichigo’s in my next class’. I have nothing against Ichigo, it’s just that Minako would rather talk to her than me.
Mint: At least Mary-Sue has a shred of sanity left.
“We don’t have Daini.” Miwa and Moh stated in unison.
Fushi: Clones!
“We have Biology now.” Miwa added.
“Well that means me and you have a lesbian for our teacher.” I frowned as I began to walk to the girls’ locker room with Ichigo. “See you guys next lesson!” I shouted to Miwa and Moh. I heard them both laugh amongst themselves as they left the cafeteria through the west exit.
Mint: Start intermission.
Fushi: Next time, on Mew Mew Sakura: Random Homophobia!
Ichigo: Be sure to read iiit~
Kish: MY EEEEEEYEEE!
Lettuce: Stop squirming and it won't hurt as much!!
(chapter 1 - about 50% finished)
Ichigo: Nya, hello~
Mint: *sips ghost tea* ...
Fushi: Well, since the doujinshi reviews are on hiatus, I figured now would be a good time to MST another fanfic.
Ichigo: Yay!
Mint: Whatever.
Fushi: Now that I think about it, maybe I should put the doujinshi reviews on the website, too.
Mint: Oh god no.
Ichigo: Those doujins... were scary...
Mint: I'll never look at Kish the same way again. Or Pai.
Lettuce: Well, more for me!
Kish: Hey, girls!
Ichigo, Mint, Lettuce: *GLARE*
Mew Mew Sakura! Metamorphosis! by YangWoof
Mint: An OC, huh?
Fushi: How many "Mew Sakura"s are there, anyway?
Kish: Eh, more than I can count.
Ichigo: How much you wanna bet that I'll be replaced in this fic?
Mint: Ugh, no bets, please. You always forget about them until after you've lost, and I hate having to listen to you whine about it.
Meet Sakura, an average teenage girl who, with Ichigo's help, discovers that she is a crime-fighting mutant superhero.
Ichigo: "Crime-fighting"... can't you just say "Mew Mew"?
Fushi: Yeah, the only MEWtants around here are Zoey, Corina--
Mint: *arrowpwn*
Follow her story on what being a Mew Mew has done to her life, causing most of it to turn upside down.
Ichigo: Ah, "Mew Mew". That's better.
Mint: But that was right in the next sentence... Fushi, don't you ever read ahead?
Fushi: Ehh, of course not! It's much more aMEWsing this way!
Mint: *arrowpwn*
!Under threat of discontinuation!
Fushi: Already? But it was just updated today.
Ichigo: Well, at least you won't have to bookmark it and wait for updates.
Fushi: True. (For that reason, it's better to choose older fics to MST...)
Hi and thank you for choosing to read this fanfic. I really appreaciate you choosing me to read so i hope you enjoy it.
Mint: "Appreciate".
Fushi: Wait... is the fanfic talking to us?
Ichigo: That's creepy.
Mint: It's an author's note, guys. It's supposed to be... wait, does that say "me"?
Fushi: Exactly!
Please review me, it only takes up less than two minutes of your time (unless you're gonna write a really long review XD)
Ichigo: Again with "me".
Fushi: I guess this would count as a "really long review". Ecksdee.
Well i think i should shut up so you can read me like you was planning to do, why else would you click on me?
Mint: "Were". Like you were planning to do.
Ichigo: Actually, we-- well, yeah, we did click on it to read...
Fushi: In a sense, yes.
Chapter One: Introducing Sakura: The Teenage Butterfly!
Kish: This Sakura chick sounds hot.
Mint: This Sakura chick sounds like a Mary-Sue.
Fushi: This Sakura chick sounds--
Konnichiwa! Watashi wa Sakura To Iimas.
Fushi: ...Wapanese.
Mint: Oh, dear god, you got a weeaboo fic.
Ichigo: It's only the first sentence and I already want to claw something, nya.
Mint: Not me, I'm already a ghost.
I am a Junior at High School, I get good grades and I have a great bunch of friends. I was just an average teenage girl - note that I said was.
Mint: Emphasis on "was". Pretty generic so far.
Ichigo: I hope she gets paired with Kish. Then he'll have someone else's vegetables to steal.
Kish: Score!
Summer is usually the time to relax, get a healthy tan, go on holiday and take a break from school and work. So why did I spend my last summer battling aliens?
Fushi: Because you are a boring, generic Mary-Sue.
Ichigo: She can't be that boring if you can stand to MST it.
Fushi: One-chapter MST of a boring fic, I can stand. Ten chapters, though...
Mint: Don't worry, there are only nine here.
Fushi: Yaaay.
It all started in Autumn 2006, when we began our freshman year at High school…
Fushi: All the cool kids say "200X".
Mint: You're not cool.
“Ohayou, Sakura-chan!” Minako greeted as she appeared next to me outside of the school gates.
Mint: "Ohayou", "-chan". Write in English, ya damn weeaboo.
Fushi: "-chan"s aren't that bad, you know. Not as bad as that "iimas" back there. That's as bad as using "dess".
Mint: You're a weeaboo, too.
Fushi: Dammit.
“Ohayou.” I turned my head to smile at her, my pink bangs moving with my head.
Mint: Does that really need describing?
Ichigo: *sigh* Another pink Mew Mew.
Fushi: No, Ichigo, she's not pink. Sure, her bangs are pink, but the rest of her hair is a disgusting shade of puke-green.
Ichigo: ....*sigh* Another green Mew Mew.
Jade: Hey!
“Can you believe it, we’re in High school!” Minako beamed as we began to walk through the school gates.
Fushi: Uhh. Assuming you two are the same age, you're in 11th grade. You're juniors. You've been in high school for two years already.
Mint: The author of this fic is probably nine or somethin'.
Fushi: Mooost likely.
“I know, it seems like only yesterday when we were in diapers.” I said in a mocking tone.
Minako didn’t notice the mockery in my voice. “I know, crazy isn’t it?”
Mint: Yeah, mock your friends. That Sakura, what a pal.
Ichigo: This fic isn't funny.
Mint: This MST isn't funny.
Fushi: Needs moar Wapanese.
Mint: No!!
I giggled at her simplicity. “Yeah, sure is.” I tried to sound like I was serious, but unfortunately, I failed. There was a hint of sarcasm in my voice which Minako spotted.
“Same old Sakura.” She laughed.
“Hey Minako!” Minako turned her head to see a girl with crimson hair walking up to her, waving her hand in the air.
Fushi: Crimson, crimson... ... ... ... !! ... *w*
Mint: No, Fushi, this is a Tokyo Mew Mew fic.
Fushi: ...... ;A;
“Oh, hey Ichigo!” Minako waved her hand in return while I just stood there…well I don’t really know what I was doing or feeling or thinking.
Kish: EEEEEEMOOOOO
Minako turned her head back me. “Sakura, this is Ichigo. She’s my next door neighbor. We’ve become really close friends over the summer.”
Mint: Brace for oncoming angst.
Fushi: Especially that of the Ichigo-bashing variety.
Ichigo: Nyaaa... ;-;
Ichigo turned her head to me and smiled. “Ohayou, Sakura-chan.”
I smiled awkwardly at her. “Hey.”
Mint: Ssh, ssh...
Fushi: What?
*pause*
Mint: .....I SAID, HEY!
Ichigo: Guuu~ Oh, hey, Mint!
Mint: Be good... or I might BUY--
Fushi: Stop that! ;-;
I wasn’t shy or anything. I don’t know why I acted it. I think it was because of the fact that Minako had made a new friend while I had only been back in Japan for three days, because I had just got back from visiting my grandparents in Malta.
Kish: Never heard of it.
Ichigo: Sounds like a soft drink.
“Hey Ichigo, where’s your form room?” I heard Minako ask her new friend.
“1-C.” Ichigo answered, looking at a piece of paper that was in her hand.
“Ooh, me too.” Minako smiled as the bell rang. “Let’s walk together Ichigo.” Minako linked Ichigo’s arm and walked to registration, leaving me in the school yard.
Fushi: GAAAAAAY
Mint: *arrowpwn*
This is going to be a long first day, I thought as I slowly followed the two new best friends.
“I can’t believe Ichigo just left us there.” I turned my head to see a blonde girl musing to her brown haired friend.
Ichigo: Hey, it's my friends Filler 1 and Filler 2! How are ya, guys?
Mint: Don't talk to the fic. Just ignore it, and it'll go away.
“I know. Just because she has a new friend, doesn’t mean that she can ditch her old ones.”
Fushi: PFFFFFF
The brown haired girl replied, turning her eyes to me as she walked past. She leaned her head towards the blonde girl, not taking her eyes off me as she whispered something.
Fushi: (as Filler 1) *whisper* Heeey... Filler 2, let's make that one our next rape victim.
Ichigo: (as Filler 2) *whisper* Ew, are you sure? Her hair is all gross and she talks about diapers.
Fushi: (as Filler 1) *whisper* Come onnnn~~~ We haven't raped anyone in so looong~~~
Mint: What the hell are you guys talking about?
(Note: I know they're Miwa and Moe. I just don't know which one is which. Shut up.)
The blonde girl nodded. “Hey, are you Minako’s friend?”
I nodded.
“Have you seen her with a red haired girl, recently?” The brown haired girl asked me.
Mint: (as Sakura) What, the one that was just here 30 seconds ago? Nope, never seen her in my life, why?
“Hai. They walked to registration together.” I replied, looking down. “They just left me here on my own.”
There was a moment of silence before both of my arms were linked with others.
Fushi: GAAAAAAAAAY and weeaboo.
Ichigo: (as Filler 2) Quick, Filler 1, grab her arms so she can't get away!
“Well, we’ve just been ditched too.” I heard the blonde one say as I looked up.
“Ichigo and Minako don’t need us anymore, so we’ll stick together for a while. Before they come to their senses and stop ignoring us.” The brown haired girl added.
“I’m Moh.” The blonde one smiled.
Mint: Pronounced "Maw".
“And I’m Miwa. And you’re Sakura, yes?”
Fushi: How would they know that? Miwa seems like more of a STALKura to me...
Mint: *arrowpwn*
“Hai.” I smiled.
“Well let’s get to registration.” Moh shouted
Ichigo: WHY ARE WE YELLING?
as the three of us laughed and headed to registration.
Maybe this day won’t be as long as I’d thought.
Fushi: Yeah, from where Ichigo stands so far... she's gonna be bashed.
“Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan!” Minako yelled
Ichigo: MORE YELLING!
from across the cafeteria. I smiled, then turned back to Miwa and Moh, who I’d got to know a lot better. They are really nice girls.
Mint: They're only pretending to be nice so they can rape her when she leasts expects it.
Kish: But that's what I was gonna do...
“So did you hear about coach Daini?” Moh began. “She’s apparently a lesbian.”
Miwa and I gasped.
Fushi: (as Miwa) Gasp.
Ichigo: (as Sakura) Gasp.
Fushi: (as Maw) lol inorite
“No way!” Miwa laughed.
“Is that why she became a P E teacher?” I asked, holding back a laugh.
Fushi: Because the only reason a lesbian could become a PE teacher is to sneak peeks at little girls' asses.
Kish: That's why I'd become a PE teacher.
Fushi: Kish, you're a lesbian?
Ichigo: I thought he was an elf.
“Probably.” Moh pressed her lips together, probably trying to stop herself from laughing.
“And who told you this?” Miwa asked, taking a bite out of her sandwich.
“Well, you know Keke Shimatari in Junior Year?”
Fushi: *flips out dictionary* "Shima"! Can mean "stripe" or "island". Ooh, stripes... "Tari"! ...means nothing. At least the names in the Kuro MST held some meaning.
Miwa and I nodded. Moh pierced a hole in her carton of orange juice before continuing. “Well, she was getting changed in the locker room, and Coach Daini couldn’t take her eyes off her. And one of Keke’s breasts was hanging out of her bra
Mint: I AM STARING IN HORROR AT YOUR DISGUSTING, FLOPPY AND WRINKLY BREASTS THEREFORE I AM A LESBIAN
and Coach Daini noticed, but didn’t say anything. Then Keke noticed her looking at her breast, so she looked down and saw her nipple on show.”
Fushi: Keke is a s!ut. Moving on.
Mint: So how is this conversation significant to the fanfic at all?
Ichigo: Talking about lesbians make 9-year-olds feel cool, nya.
Miwa and I looked at each other, then began to hysterically laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I heard Minako ask. I turned my head to see Minako looking at Miwa and me like we were lunatics.
Ichigo: But you ARE lunatics. D:
“Nothing.” Miwa answered before turning to her lunch.
“Konnichiwa, Miwa-chan! Moh-chan!” Ichigo smiled as she took a seat next to Moh.
“Hey Ichigo.” They said in unison with a monotone voice.
Fushi: Lunatics? More like jerks.
“So Ichigo.” Minako took the seat next to Ichigo, much to Moh’s dismay.
Fushi: Jerk.
“Do you wanna go to the mall with me later. We can check out that new CD store.”
Moh pushed her tray next to mine and exchanged seats so she was next to me.
Fushi: Jerk.
Mint: So is Ichigo and Minako, all of a sudden... "the enemy", now.
Ichigo: Huuuu~
Fushi: Apparently so. *pets Ichigo* There there, it's just a fanfic.
Ichigo: *sniffle* ...... *purr*
Kish: Goddammit! Now who am I supposed to make out with?
Ichigo: T^T Pai.
Kish: ...kay.
Lettuce: NOOOO
“Oh, I can’t. I’ve got to work at the café after school.” Ichigo answered sadly.
“Oh, well do you wanna come with me, Sakura-chan?” Minako asked.
Fushi: Once more!
Mint: Brace for oncoming angst!
Ichigo: Three! Two! One!
Kish: Boink.
“What?” I choked. Miwa and Moh gasped.
“So you’re only asking you’re ex best friend because you’re new best friend can’t make it?” Miwa asked, infuriated.
Fushi: Suddenly she's "ex".
Mint: (as Miyako) Sorry for making ONE new friend, I'll never do it again, master!
Kish: ...hot.
Mint: *arrowpwn*
“No it’s just that I-”
“Just what? You’re just gonna use Sakura because she’s a nice girl who doesn’t like to disappoint her friends?” Moh shouted.
Wow, these girls knew me so well.
Fushi: Annnnd, how long have they known her? Three, four hours? God, fics like this p!ss me off SO much.
Ichigo: Calm down, Fushi.
Mint: Oh, more shouting.
Ichigo: WHAT?
“I’m not using her I-I-” Minako was lost for words. Miwa and Moh had made a very good point.
Luckily for Minako, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.
“Well see you, Ichigo-chan.” And with that, Minako jolted out of the cafeteria.
Mint: I almost feel sorry for her.
Ichigo: Nya, this fic is too long. We're only halfway through chapter one.
Fushi: Just a little longer, and we can have an intermission.
Ichigo: Yay!
Lettuce: *stabbing Kish*
“What do you have now that she doesn’t?” Miwa asked Ichigo.
“P E.” Ichigo replied, not looking at her two friends in the eye.
“Oh no.” I began.
Fushi: Did you say... PE?
Ichigo: DUN DUN DUUUNN
Fushi: IT'S YURI TIME
Ichigo looked at me, slightly offended. “What?”
“We have Coach Daini.” I answered.
“Oh.” Ichigo sighed with relief that I didn’t mean ‘oh no Ichigo’s in my next class’. I have nothing against Ichigo, it’s just that Minako would rather talk to her than me.
Mint: At least Mary-Sue has a shred of sanity left.
“We don’t have Daini.” Miwa and Moh stated in unison.
Fushi: Clones!
“We have Biology now.” Miwa added.
“Well that means me and you have a lesbian for our teacher.” I frowned as I began to walk to the girls’ locker room with Ichigo. “See you guys next lesson!” I shouted to Miwa and Moh. I heard them both laugh amongst themselves as they left the cafeteria through the west exit.
Mint: Start intermission.
Fushi: Next time, on Mew Mew Sakura: Random Homophobia!
Ichigo: Be sure to read iiit~
Kish: MY EEEEEEYEEE!
Lettuce: Stop squirming and it won't hurt as much!!
(chapter 1 - about 50% finished)