Mew Mew Sakura MST

[Gcio]

Fushi: Heeey, it's been a while.
Ichigo: Nya, hello~
Mint: *sips ghost tea* ...
Fushi: Well, since the doujinshi reviews are on hiatus, I figured now would be a good time to MST another fanfic.
Ichigo: Yay!
Mint: Whatever.
Fushi: Now that I think about it, maybe I should put the doujinshi reviews on the website, too.
Mint: Oh god no.
Ichigo: Those doujins... were scary...
Mint: I'll never look at Kish the same way again. Or Pai.
Lettuce: Well, more for me!
Kish: Hey, girls!
Ichigo, Mint, Lettuce: *GLARE*

Mew Mew Sakura! Metamorphosis! by YangWoof

Mint: An OC, huh?
Fushi: How many "Mew Sakura"s are there, anyway?
Kish: Eh, more than I can count.
Ichigo: How much you wanna bet that I'll be replaced in this fic?
Mint: Ugh, no bets, please. You always forget about them until after you've lost, and I hate having to listen to you whine about it.

Meet Sakura, an average teenage girl who, with Ichigo's help, discovers that she is a crime-fighting mutant superhero.

Ichigo: "Crime-fighting"... can't you just say "Mew Mew"?
Fushi: Yeah, the only MEWtants around here are Zoey, Corina--
Mint: *arrowpwn*

Follow her story on what being a Mew Mew has done to her life, causing most of it to turn upside down.

Ichigo: Ah, "Mew Mew". That's better.
Mint: But that was right in the next sentence... Fushi, don't you ever read ahead?
Fushi: Ehh, of course not! It's much more aMEWsing this way!
Mint: *arrowpwn*

!Under threat of discontinuation!

Fushi: Already? But it was just updated today.
Ichigo: Well, at least you won't have to bookmark it and wait for updates.
Fushi: True. (For that reason, it's better to choose older fics to MST...)

Hi and thank you for choosing to read this fanfic. I really appreaciate you choosing me to read so i hope you enjoy it.

Mint: "Appreciate".
Fushi: Wait... is the fanfic talking to us?
Ichigo: That's creepy.
Mint: It's an author's note, guys. It's supposed to be... wait, does that say "me"?
Fushi: Exactly!

Please review me, it only takes up less than two minutes of your time (unless you're gonna write a really long review XD)

Ichigo: Again with "me".
Fushi: I guess this would count as a "really long review". Ecksdee.

Well i think i should shut up so you can read me like you was planning to do, why else would you click on me?

Mint: "Were". Like you were planning to do.
Ichigo: Actually, we-- well, yeah, we did click on it to read...
Fushi: In a sense, yes.

Chapter One: Introducing Sakura: The Teenage Butterfly!

Kish: This Sakura chick sounds hot.
Mint: This Sakura chick sounds like a Mary-Sue.
Fushi: This Sakura chick sounds--

Konnichiwa! Watashi wa Sakura To Iimas.

Fushi: ...Wapanese.
Mint: Oh, dear god, you got a weeaboo fic.
Ichigo: It's only the first sentence and I already want to claw something, nya.
Mint: Not me, I'm already a ghost.

I am a Junior at High School, I get good grades and I have a great bunch of friends. I was just an average teenage girl - note that I said was.

Mint: Emphasis on "was". Pretty generic so far.
Ichigo: I hope she gets paired with Kish. Then he'll have someone else's vegetables to steal.
Kish: Score!

Summer is usually the time to relax, get a healthy tan, go on holiday and take a break from school and work. So why did I spend my last summer battling aliens?

Fushi: Because you are a boring, generic Mary-Sue.
Ichigo: She can't be that boring if you can stand to MST it.
Fushi: One-chapter MST of a boring fic, I can stand. Ten chapters, though...
Mint: Don't worry, there are only nine here.
Fushi: Yaaay.

It all started in Autumn 2006, when we began our freshman year at High school…

Fushi: All the cool kids say "200X".
Mint: You're not cool.

“Ohayou, Sakura-chan!” Minako greeted as she appeared next to me outside of the school gates.

Mint: "Ohayou", "-chan". Write in English, ya damn weeaboo.
Fushi: "-chan"s aren't that bad, you know. Not as bad as that "iimas" back there. That's as bad as using "dess".
Mint: You're a weeaboo, too.
Fushi: Dammit.

“Ohayou.” I turned my head to smile at her, my pink bangs moving with my head.

Mint: Does that really need describing?
Ichigo: *sigh* Another pink Mew Mew.
Fushi: No, Ichigo, she's not pink. Sure, her bangs are pink, but the rest of her hair is a disgusting shade of puke-green.
Ichigo: ....*sigh* Another green Mew Mew.
Jade: Hey!

“Can you believe it, we’re in High school!” Minako beamed as we began to walk through the school gates.

Fushi: Uhh. Assuming you two are the same age, you're in 11th grade. You're juniors. You've been in high school for two years already.
Mint: The author of this fic is probably nine or somethin'.
Fushi: Mooost likely.

“I know, it seems like only yesterday when we were in diapers.” I said in a mocking tone.

Minako didn’t notice the mockery in my voice. “I know, crazy isn’t it?”

Mint: Yeah, mock your friends. That Sakura, what a pal.
Ichigo: This fic isn't funny.
Mint: This MST isn't funny.
Fushi: Needs moar Wapanese.
Mint: No!!

I giggled at her simplicity. “Yeah, sure is.” I tried to sound like I was serious, but unfortunately, I failed. There was a hint of sarcasm in my voice which Minako spotted.

“Same old Sakura.” She laughed.

“Hey Minako!” Minako turned her head to see a girl with crimson hair walking up to her, waving her hand in the air.

Fushi: Crimson, crimson... ... ... ... !! ... *w*
Mint: No, Fushi, this is a Tokyo Mew Mew fic.
Fushi: ...... ;A;

“Oh, hey Ichigo!” Minako waved her hand in return while I just stood there…well I don’t really know what I was doing or feeling or thinking.

Kish: EEEEEEMOOOOO

Minako turned her head back me. “Sakura, this is Ichigo. She’s my next door neighbor. We’ve become really close friends over the summer.”

Mint: Brace for oncoming angst.
Fushi: Especially that of the Ichigo-bashing variety.
Ichigo: Nyaaa... ;-;

Ichigo turned her head to me and smiled. “Ohayou, Sakura-chan.”

I smiled awkwardly at her. “Hey.”

Mint: Ssh, ssh...
Fushi: What?
*pause*
Mint: .....I SAID, HEY!
Ichigo: Guuu~ Oh, hey, Mint!
Mint: Be good... or I might BUY--
Fushi: Stop that! ;-;

I wasn’t shy or anything. I don’t know why I acted it. I think it was because of the fact that Minako had made a new friend while I had only been back in Japan for three days, because I had just got back from visiting my grandparents in Malta.

Kish: Never heard of it.
Ichigo: Sounds like a soft drink.

“Hey Ichigo, where’s your form room?” I heard Minako ask her new friend.

“1-C.” Ichigo answered, looking at a piece of paper that was in her hand.

“Ooh, me too.” Minako smiled as the bell rang. “Let’s walk together Ichigo.” Minako linked Ichigo’s arm and walked to registration, leaving me in the school yard.

Fushi: GAAAAAAY
Mint: *arrowpwn*

This is going to be a long first day, I thought as I slowly followed the two new best friends.

“I can’t believe Ichigo just left us there.” I turned my head to see a blonde girl musing to her brown haired friend.

Ichigo: Hey, it's my friends Filler 1 and Filler 2! How are ya, guys?
Mint: Don't talk to the fic. Just ignore it, and it'll go away.

“I know. Just because she has a new friend, doesn’t mean that she can ditch her old ones.”

Fushi: PFFFFFF

The brown haired girl replied, turning her eyes to me as she walked past. She leaned her head towards the blonde girl, not taking her eyes off me as she whispered something.

Fushi: (as Filler 1) *whisper* Heeey... Filler 2, let's make that one our next rape victim.
Ichigo: (as Filler 2) *whisper* Ew, are you sure? Her hair is all gross and she talks about diapers.
Fushi: (as Filler 1) *whisper* Come onnnn~~~ We haven't raped anyone in so looong~~~
Mint: What the hell are you guys talking about?

(Note: I know they're Miwa and Moe. I just don't know which one is which. Shut up.)

The blonde girl nodded. “Hey, are you Minako’s friend?”

I nodded.

“Have you seen her with a red haired girl, recently?” The brown haired girl asked me.

Mint: (as Sakura) What, the one that was just here 30 seconds ago? Nope, never seen her in my life, why?

“Hai. They walked to registration together.” I replied, looking down. “They just left me here on my own.”

There was a moment of silence before both of my arms were linked with others.

Fushi: GAAAAAAAAAY and weeaboo.
Ichigo: (as Filler 2) Quick, Filler 1, grab her arms so she can't get away!

“Well, we’ve just been ditched too.” I heard the blonde one say as I looked up.

“Ichigo and Minako don’t need us anymore, so we’ll stick together for a while. Before they come to their senses and stop ignoring us.” The brown haired girl added.

“I’m Moh.” The blonde one smiled.

Mint: Pronounced "Maw".

“And I’m Miwa. And you’re Sakura, yes?”

Fushi: How would they know that? Miwa seems like more of a STALKura to me...
Mint: *arrowpwn*

“Hai.” I smiled.

“Well let’s get to registration.” Moh shouted

Ichigo: WHY ARE WE YELLING?

as the three of us laughed and headed to registration.

Maybe this day won’t be as long as I’d thought.

Fushi: Yeah, from where Ichigo stands so far... she's gonna be bashed.

“Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan!” Minako yelled

Ichigo: MORE YELLING!

from across the cafeteria. I smiled, then turned back to Miwa and Moh, who I’d got to know a lot better. They are really nice girls.

Mint: They're only pretending to be nice so they can rape her when she leasts expects it.
Kish: But that's what I was gonna do...

“So did you hear about coach Daini?” Moh began. “She’s apparently a lesbian.”

Miwa and I gasped.

Fushi: (as Miwa) Gasp.
Ichigo: (as Sakura) Gasp.
Fushi: (as Maw) lol inorite

“No way!” Miwa laughed.

“Is that why she became a P E teacher?” I asked, holding back a laugh.

Fushi: Because the only reason a lesbian could become a PE teacher is to sneak peeks at little girls' asses.
Kish: That's why I'd become a PE teacher.
Fushi: Kish, you're a lesbian?
Ichigo: I thought he was an elf.

“Probably.” Moh pressed her lips together, probably trying to stop herself from laughing.

“And who told you this?” Miwa asked, taking a bite out of her sandwich.

“Well, you know Keke Shimatari in Junior Year?”

Fushi: *flips out dictionary* "Shima"! Can mean "stripe" or "island". Ooh, stripes... "Tari"! ...means nothing. At least the names in the Kuro MST held some meaning.

Miwa and I nodded. Moh pierced a hole in her carton of orange juice before continuing. “Well, she was getting changed in the locker room, and Coach Daini couldn’t take her eyes off her. And one of Keke’s breasts was hanging out of her bra

Mint: I AM STARING IN HORROR AT YOUR DISGUSTING, FLOPPY AND WRINKLY BREASTS THEREFORE I AM A LESBIAN

and Coach Daini noticed, but didn’t say anything. Then Keke noticed her looking at her breast, so she looked down and saw her nipple on show.”

Fushi: Keke is a s!ut. Moving on.
Mint: So how is this conversation significant to the fanfic at all?
Ichigo: Talking about lesbians make 9-year-olds feel cool, nya.

Miwa and I looked at each other, then began to hysterically laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I heard Minako ask. I turned my head to see Minako looking at Miwa and me like we were lunatics.

Ichigo: But you ARE lunatics. D:

“Nothing.” Miwa answered before turning to her lunch.

“Konnichiwa, Miwa-chan! Moh-chan!” Ichigo smiled as she took a seat next to Moh.

“Hey Ichigo.” They said in unison with a monotone voice.

Fushi: Lunatics? More like jerks.

“So Ichigo.” Minako took the seat next to Ichigo, much to Moh’s dismay.

Fushi: Jerk.

“Do you wanna go to the mall with me later. We can check out that new CD store.”

Moh pushed her tray next to mine and exchanged seats so she was next to me.

Fushi: Jerk.
Mint: So is Ichigo and Minako, all of a sudden... "the enemy", now.
Ichigo: Huuuu~
Fushi: Apparently so. *pets Ichigo* There there, it's just a fanfic.
Ichigo: *sniffle* ...... *purr*
Kish: Goddammit! Now who am I supposed to make out with?
Ichigo: T^T Pai.
Kish: ...kay.
Lettuce: NOOOO

“Oh, I can’t. I’ve got to work at the café after school.” Ichigo answered sadly.

“Oh, well do you wanna come with me, Sakura-chan?” Minako asked.

Fushi: Once more!
Mint: Brace for oncoming angst!
Ichigo: Three! Two! One!
Kish: Boink.

“What?” I choked. Miwa and Moh gasped.

“So you’re only asking you’re ex best friend because you’re new best friend can’t make it?” Miwa asked, infuriated.

Fushi: Suddenly she's "ex".
Mint: (as Miyako) Sorry for making ONE new friend, I'll never do it again, master!
Kish: ...hot.
Mint: *arrowpwn*

“No it’s just that I-”

“Just what? You’re just gonna use Sakura because she’s a nice girl who doesn’t like to disappoint her friends?” Moh shouted.

Wow, these girls knew me so well.

Fushi: Annnnd, how long have they known her? Three, four hours? God, fics like this p!ss me off SO much.
Ichigo: Calm down, Fushi.
Mint: Oh, more shouting.
Ichigo: WHAT?

“I’m not using her I-I-” Minako was lost for words. Miwa and Moh had made a very good point.

Luckily for Minako, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

“Well see you, Ichigo-chan.” And with that, Minako jolted out of the cafeteria.

Mint: I almost feel sorry for her.
Ichigo: Nya, this fic is too long. We're only halfway through chapter one.
Fushi: Just a little longer, and we can have an intermission.
Ichigo: Yay!
Lettuce: *stabbing Kish*

“What do you have now that she doesn’t?” Miwa asked Ichigo.

“P E.” Ichigo replied, not looking at her two friends in the eye.

“Oh no.” I began.

Fushi: Did you say... PE?
Ichigo: DUN DUN DUUUNN
Fushi: IT'S YURI TIME

Ichigo looked at me, slightly offended. “What?”

“We have Coach Daini.” I answered.

“Oh.” Ichigo sighed with relief that I didn’t mean ‘oh no Ichigo’s in my next class’. I have nothing against Ichigo, it’s just that Minako would rather talk to her than me.

Mint: At least Mary-Sue has a shred of sanity left.

“We don’t have Daini.” Miwa and Moh stated in unison.

Fushi: Clones!

“We have Biology now.” Miwa added.

“Well that means me and you have a lesbian for our teacher.” I frowned as I began to walk to the girls’ locker room with Ichigo. “See you guys next lesson!” I shouted to Miwa and Moh. I heard them both laugh amongst themselves as they left the cafeteria through the west exit.

Mint: Start intermission.
Fushi: Next time, on Mew Mew Sakura: Random Homophobia!
Ichigo: Be sure to read iiit~
Kish: MY EEEEEEYEEE!
Lettuce: Stop squirming and it won't hurt as much!!

(chapter 1 - about 50% finished)

[Moonie]

Fushi: Because the only reason a lesbian could become a PE teacher is to sneak peeks at little girls' asses.
Kish: That's why I'd become a PE teacher.
Fushi: Kish, you're a lesbian?
Ichigo: I thought he was an elf.

*catchy jingle* Ooh, kish, the lesbian elf vampirateee!!

Dude, someone needs to buy bras that FIT then, seriously. Haha.

Yay! Mstssss! I wanna write another one now.

Or a collab of epic porpotions

[Moonie]

Mint: (as Miyako) Sorry for making ONE new friend, I'll never do it again, master!


..OH SHEET MIND STORY CROSSOVER?
(the ironic thing may be that mint says it haha)

[Gcio]

Sept 8, 2008 18:50:58 GMT -5 Moonie said:

Fushi: Because the only reason a lesbian could become a PE teacher is to sneak peeks at little girls' asses.
Kish: That's why I'd become a PE teacher.
Fushi: Kish, you're a lesbian?
Ichigo: I thought he was an elf.

*catchy jingle* Ooh, kish, the lesbian elf vampirateee!!

Dude, someone needs to buy bras that FIT then, seriously. Haha.

Yay! Mstssss! I wanna write another one now.

Or a collab of epic porpotions

DO IT DO IT DO IT

Then we can have three MSTs running at once, huhu~

One for you, one for me, one collab.

Mint: (as Miyako) Sorry for making ONE new friend, I'll never do it again, master!


..OH SHEET MIND STORY CROSSOVER?
(the ironic thing may be that mint says it haha)

I realized that after I wrote it. xD

[Moonie]

DO IT DO IT DO IT

Then we can have three MSTs running at once, huhu~

One for you, one for me, one collab.


Kay! I need to do homework and study though. *hasn't searched of mst worthy fics in forever*

[Gcio]

Sept 8, 2008 18:56:59 GMT -5 Moonie said:

DO IT DO IT DO IT

Then we can have three MSTs running at once, huhu~

One for you, one for me, one collab.


Kay! I need to do homework and study though. *hasn't searched of mst worthy fics in forever*

I need to do my homework, too. ;A;

[Super Pickle]

SO DO I~ </shot>

[Chuckus]

Good girl Chihi did hers. ;D

[Gcio]

Sept 8, 2008 19:20:53 GMT -5 Chuckus said:

Good girl Chihi did hers. ;D

i h8 u

n ur pantz 2

[Chuckus]

: o

fu-shay u are so so so so good bad
im gonna flam u nao wit teh color-over army : O

[Gcio]

Sept 8, 2008 19:49:22 GMT -5 Chuckus said:

: o

fu-shay u are so so so so good bad
im gonna flam u nao wit teh color-over army : O

noooo she said

i has te bluey blUz

[Chuckus]

Sept 8, 2008 20:09:08 GMT -5 Gcio said:

Sept 8, 2008 19:49:22 GMT -5 Chuckus said:

: o

fu-shay u are so so so so good bad
im gonna flam u nao wit teh color-over army : O

noooo she said

i has te bluey blUz

no no no no no she said

the bee is in the hive
love, chacha

[Gcio]

Mint: End intermission.
Ichigo: Everyone ready to keep going?
Mint: No.
Fushi: Not really.

“Hey Ichigo.” I began. She was really quiet during the walk to the girls’ locker room.

Fushi: Fanservice scene? NOW I'm ready!
Mint: *arrowpwn*

“Um-hum.” She replied, taking off her shoes.

“I’m sorry if Miwa and Moh seem mad at you.” I took off my skirt and replaced it with a pair of shorts.

Fushi: Woot!
Ichigo: I hope something actually happens soon, nya.

“It’s just that they’re a bit angry that you’re talking to Minako and I-”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Sakura-chan, it’s not your fault.” Ichigo smiled. I took of my shirt, turning away from Ichigo so she could see my back.

Mint: S!ut.
Fushi: Better than everyone seeing her disgusting, floppy, wrinkly breasts.
Mint: Touche.

I heard her gasp, causing me to turn around.

“What?” I asked, folding up my shirt.

“You have a-a-”

“A what?” I asked.

Kish: A HORRIBLE, PULSATING TUMOR SECRETING SOME SORT OF DEADLY, BOILING ACID
Fushi: Awesome! No wonder her hair turned puke-green!
Mint: You two are disgusting.

“Would you mind if you came to the café I work at after school?” Ichigo asked out of the blue.

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you changing the subject?”

Fushi: Oh, wait.
Ichigo: I think I get it...
Fushi: Predictable.

“No no, of course not.” She answered, waving her hands in front of her defensively. “But please say you’ll come.”

“Is the food nice?” I asked.

Kish: No, it's contaminated with all of Berry's STDs.
Mint: Ew, how'd that happen?
Kish: You don't wanna know.

“Hai. Our head chef is really talented when it comes to cooking.” Ichigo smiled, looking at me with pleading eyes.

Fushi: "Hai". One more weeaboo point.
Ichigo: We were counting?
Fushi: No, I just thought it'd be funny.

“Okay, I’ll come.” I gave in, receiving a squeal from Ichigo and a hug which deprived my lungs of oxygen. “Can’t. Breathe.”

“Oh, gomennasai.” Ichigo released me and we finished changing.

Kish: NAKED YURI HUG
Mint: *arrowpwn* Stop that!!
Fushi: Scene switch!

“Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan!” I turned my head to see Ichigo running towards me.

“Hey, Ichigo-chan!” I smiled. She stopped running when she was a few inches close to me, placing her hands over her knees as she caught her breath.

Mint: I thought you were a cat. You're supposed to be good at running.
Fushi: Unless she's a fat cat.
Mint: True.
Ichigo: Hey!

“Are you ready?” She asked me as her breathing became more even.

“Hai.” I smiled as we walked through the school gates.

Fushi: "Hai". "Hai", "hai", how hard is it to type "yes"? Or "yeah", or "yep", "yup", "uh-huh"...
Mint: Mm-hm.
Fushi: That too.
Mint: What?

“Do you like the colour pink?” Ichigo asked me, oblivious to my hair colour.

“Uh-huh.” I smiled, she still didn’t realize that my hair is pink.

Fushi: That's about as funny as someone asking me if I like brown and me going on and on to myself about how "YOU MUST NOT REALIZE MY HAIR IS BROWN LOL".
Mint: This is Tokyo Mew Mew. Pinks, reds, blues, those are natural colors.
Fushi: Besides, only her bangs are pink.
Kish: True dat.

“Well you’re gonna love Café Mew Mew.” Ichigo giggled as we walked in the opposite direction of my home.

Fushi: I'm starting to miss the caffX.
Mint: Get over it.

“Great.” I smiled enthusiastically. Ichigo is a really sweet girl, no wonder Minako started to hang around with her while I was in Malta.

“Minako tells me that you were in a relationship last year.” Ichigo brought up.

Fushi: (as Sakura) MINAKO, YOU BITCH, I TOLD YOU TO KEEP OUR YURI LOVIN' A SECRET
Mint: Okay, enough with the yuri jokes already. If you have to rely on those to be funny, you're not good at this.
Fushi: But people think I'm funny no matter what I say, so it's all goood~
Mint: You know what? I'm really starting to hate you.
Fushi: Hmph! Feeling's MEWtual!
Mint: *arrowpwn*

I looked at her surprised. “Hai.”

“What happened in this relationship?”

“I ended it.” I looked down. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my relationship with someone I didn’t trust as a friend.

Kish: Foreshadowing, maybe?
Ichigo: Yeah, that reminds me... she's probably going to be merged with a butterfly, seeing as the chapter title is "Introducing Sakura, the teenage butterfly".
Mint: And then there's the obvious reason she's being brought to the caffX.
Fushi: "Cafe".
Mint: DAMMIT!

Well, I didn’t trust her at that moment in time. I needed to divert the conversation quickly. I jerked my head up and turned to Ichigo. “So, why did you want me to come to the Café with you?”

“Um…” Ichigo looked deep in thought. “…well I was thinking about getting you a job there.”

Fushi: Grade P for Predictable.
Mint: Grade P for Pointless.
Ichigo: Grade P for Stupid.
Fushi: Ooh, good one.
Mint: That doesn't make any sense!

“What?” I choked. “Why?”

“Well I need to talk to the owner first, but if there are any jobs available, you should take it. Not everyone gets the chance to work here and it’s 1 500 yen per hour.” Ichigo smirked, seeing my reaction told her that I would want the job if I reached the standards of what the owner was looking for in an employee.

Fushi: 1,500 yen is 14 dollars. The original pay according to the manga was ten dollars an hour.
Ichigo: Inconsistencies ahoy!
Mint: How did you remember that? You haven't read the manga in years.
Fushi: Masha's little song is permanently scarred into my brain.
Masha: Ten dollars~ Ten dollars~

I smiled. That was all I could do. I don’t know why. The thought of money hypnotized me. I love money. Money can make a person quite powerful.

Mint: I think I'm starting to like this kid.
Fushi: "Witness the power of money".

After turning a few more street corners, Ichigo stopped in front of a pink castle.

Kish: That sounds so girly I think I just threw up a little.
Ichigo: I hate you.
Kish: Feeling's MEWtu-- sh!t.

“Welcome to Café Mew Mew.” Ichigo shouted. She grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the entrance.

The inside of the café was pretty. It was mostly pink. Hooray for pink!

Fushi: Remember, kids: If you're at the mall looking for all things preppy and girly, just search for the pink aisle.
Mint: How true.

“I’ll be right back Sakura-chan. While I’m gone, take a seat and someone will be with you to take your order.” Ichigo pushed me lightly towards the tables while she darted away.

Fushi: Spoiler: She gets it for free because she's a Mary-Sue.

I sighed as I walked to the nearest free table and collapsed onto the chair. I banged my head on the table,

Mint: How the hell?!

causing a throbbing pain to pulse above my right eye. I lifted my head while I scowled so I could rub my aching forehead.

Kish: I think you'd be scowling because of the pain.

“Hi and welcome to Café Mew Mew. May I take your order?”

I looked up to see a girl around my age smiling at me. She had green hair which was braided and she wore thin, but huge, glasses. Her uniform was green, probably because of the hair colour.

Fushi: What is this emphasis on hair color? It makes me feel boring. Like... hey, I'm brown amongst all the rainbow colors?
Mint: Why hasn't Lettuce tripped and "gomenasai"ed yet? What a disappointment.

She held out a menu for me to have a look at, so I smiled and took it from her.

“Hmm let’s have a look…” I skimmed through the menu, searching for a keyword: Cherry. If they served anything with cherry, I’ll have that.

Ichigo: Cherry blossom loves cherries. Imagine that.

After thoroughly examining the list of cheesecakes, I found a cherry cheesecake which was described like it was heaven. “I’ll have a cherry cheesecake, please.” I handed the menu back to the green haired waitress and she left with a smile. “She seems nice.” I mused as I (gently) placed my head back onto the table.

“Sakura-chan!” Ichigo shouted, making me jerk my head up with surprise.

I’d only just put my head on that table, I thought as Ichigo ran up to me.

Kish: BAWWW I WANTED TO KEEP HUMPING THE TA--
Mint: *yawn, arrowpwn*

“Hai?”

“Come with me.” She grabbed my wrist and yanked me towards the back room in the café.

“Ichigo, what’re you-” Ichigo interrupted me.

“Ryou-kun,

Ichigo: WHOA WHOA HANG ON A SECOND. "Ryou-kun"? Who is this "Ryou-kun"?
Mint: A weeaboo's RxI fantasy.
Ichigo: NOOOO

this is Sakura-chan, the girl I was telling you about.” Ichigo turned me around and lifted my shirt up, revealing the lower part of my back.

Fushi: Sexual assault!
Kish: My favorite!

“Ichigo.

Fushi: Ichigo-chan. :'D

What are you doing?” I asked. She held the shirt up in place as someone approached me from behind.

“Hmm…” A deep voice began. I felt two pairs of eyes on my back.

Is this what Ichigo wanted me to come here for? So people could stare at my back?

Kish: (as Sakura) I knew I should have gotten that tumor removed!

“She could be.” I heard a male voice - probably Ryou - say.

Could be what?

“But it’s shaped like our marks. And Akasaka-san said that two more girls were infused with animals.

Mint: Ringo and Berry. Mystery solved. Can the Mary-Sue leave now?

She has a good chance of being one of the two!” Ichigo yelled, letting go of my shirt. I rolled it back down and turned to her.

“Ichigo, what exactly did you bring me here for?” I asked.

Fushi: Just then, Faceless Hentai Guy appeared and--

“Well…” Ichigo turned to Ryou with a look which said ‘should I tell?’.

“Ichigo, if you really want to know, ask Keiichiro.” Ryou stated, folding his arms.

Mint: I don't know why she wouldn't tell, since she's so sure about this.
Fushi: This is getting boring again. Can we take another intermission?
Mint: Again?
Ichigo: Yeah, I'm sleepy~
Fushi: Hopefully this will pick up speed soon. Besides, we've almost reached 10,000 characters for this section alone. ....yup, there we go.
Mint: Ugh, fine. But if you end up dropping this fic...

[Gcio]

Mint: Fushi, you're losing your touch. That last one wasn't funny at all.
Fushi: Aw man, I thought the "wart" lime would get 'em for sure.
Kish: But that was my--
Ichigo: Well, at least we're almost done with chapter 1. Nya.

“Ask me what?” Ichigo’s and my head turned to the doorway, where a brown haired man stood.

“Akasaka-san. This is Sakura-chan. She could be…” Ichigo whispered the rest into Keiichiro’s ear, making me feel very curious and slightly pissed off from all of the secrecy.

Mint: So I've been thinking about it... how could "Sakura-chan" possibly be a Mew Mew? Her being merged was never in the story, she hasn't been showing any strange symptoms...
Ichigo: I know what you mean. Even Berry had to go through that.

“Ah, I see.” Keiichiro took a step closer to me. “Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan. My name is Akasaka, Keiichiro.”

Fushi: *point* Comma is unnesssssary.

He gently grabbed my wrist and placed a light kiss on it, causing my cheeks to colour themselves crimson.

Ichigo: So it looks like we've got two options, nya. She gets paired with Kish, or Akasaka.
Mint: I'm guessing Kish.
Fushi: Yeah, probably Kish.
Ichigo: That's my guess, too.
Kish: Awesome!

“Would you please come with me.” He lead me to another back room.

This room was filled with computers and large screens which displayed pictures and scientific and mathematical language. I felt out of place in this room; I figured that you needed to be a genius just to set foot in here.

Kish: HA HA MORON
Mint: Akasaka?
Ichigo: Akasaka.
Kish: Hey!

“Sakura-chan, could you please lift up your shirt slightly and turn around.” Keiichiro asked nicely. I did as I was told to do. I turned slowly as I lifted my shirt so the bottom half of my back was showing.

Fushi: So her mark is right above her ass?
Mint: Pretty much.

I felt his eyes on me, burning two deep holes in my back where everyone was staring at today.

Kish: Piercing glare returns!
Fushi: You're not allowed to use jokes from the yaoi MST. Or Lettuce will stab you again.
Mint: Too late.
Lettuce: DIIIIIEEEE

“Hmm…okay, you can turn around now.”

I turned and rolled my shirt back down. Keiichiro turned to his computer, looking at a picture of a DNA strand and a butterfly.

Fushi: I KNEW IT

He then picked up a golden pendant and examined it before turning to me. “Sakura-chan, please hold this tightly.” Keiichiro tossed me the pendant.

Mint: He needs to be more careful with that.

When my fingers came in contact with it, the pendant began to glow.

It was like a chemical reaction was taking place. My whole body glowed hot pink as I was covered with light.

Ichigo: Power Pendants do not work that way.
Mint: "Power Pendants"...?
Ichigo: ....stfu

My school fuku was gone, and instead, a really short, long sleeved dress wrapped itself around me. The dress didn’t cover my bum completely. It was so revealing.

Fushi: Hooooarfaaaec.

The sleeves covered my hands, only showing my fingertips when my hands were by my side. My hair colour turned a warmer shade of pink

Kish: I thought it was puke-green?
Fushi: A warmer shade of puke-green.
Kish: ...ew.

and it tied itself up with a hot pink ribbon. Hot pink thigh-length boots hugged my legs and feet comfortably and I felt a pair of wings sprout from my back. I felt two antennas grow on top of my head as a choker wrapped around my neck.

Ichigo: I hope the choker chokes her, nya~ ^w^
Mint: *arrowpwn*
Fushi: So I don't get hurt this time? Sweet.

This weird transformation ended, leaving me in the hot pink clothing. Keiichiro was smiling at me. I don’t know what the smile was for, and I didn’t want to know, either.

Kish: Then, slowly, Keiichiro began to morph hideously into Faceless Hentai Guy!
Fushi: I'd hit it. *wiggles eyebrows*

“Welcome to our gang, Mew Mew Sakura!”

Mint: Chapter end.
Ichigo: That was dumb.
Mint: Indeed.
Fushi: There's still the author's-- sorry, fanfic's note.

Well that's it for chapter one. Be sure to leave a review, telling my creator what you thought of me.

Fushi: See? It talks.
Kish: That is creepy.

She would be really thankful for it.

Mint: I have my doubts.

Well i've got to go now so my creator can update me. Do you want me to be updated?

Fushi: No.

Or do you think that i was boring?

Fushi: Yes.

Did i put you to sleep?

Fushi: Sadly, no.

I will get better, honest i will. Don't leave me, we just got to know each other! Waah!

Ichigo: Fushi, you made it cry.
Fushi: Haha.

And on the first date and all. I feel so weak. The next chapter should have some action in so stay tuned and my creator is tuning out.

Kish: "Date"...?
Mint: It's a failed attempt at humor. Pay it no mind.

It's 02:16 am here in England so my owner needs to sleep. Or maybe she'll start my next chapter. Who knows. My owner knows, that's who knows.

Fushi: Okay, you know what? This whole "creepy talking fanfic" thing is just stupid.
Mint: I hear ya. Should we skip?
Fushi: What? After all those intermissions? That's cheap.
Mint: ....cheap?

she won't tell me if she's going to update me. She needs persuading. But i don't know how to persuade, i'm only a body of words for heaven's sake. Help me persuade her to continue me, please. Pretty please...ah what the heck, she'll continue me, i know she will. But for her sake, please review her

Fushi: If I did, she wouldn't like it.

Stay tuned for Chapter Two: Sakura's First Battle! Kisshu's new interest.

All: ....
Ichigo: "Kisshu's new"...
Mint: Oh god, a Kish-Sue.
Fushi: Good thing he's a lesbian.
Kish: You're just jealous because I attract hot pink s!utty... yeah, you're right.
Fushi: You really are a lesbian? o3o
Kish: That's not what I meant!

[Gcio]

Fushi: So we're continuing!
Ichigo: Oh, no...
Mint: And it's been how long since you last updated?
Fushi: Uhh... couple o' months, I guess.
Mint: Typical.

Hooray for chapter 2! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray!

All: *awkward silence*

My creator has posted this earlier than she was going to. She got no reviews from me so now she's upset with me.

Mint: She should have taken a hint.

Oh, she'll live. Well anyway, you came her to read me so i'll shut up now.

Fushi: *sigh* Can't argue with that.

Chapter Two: Sakura's First Battle! Kisshu's New Interest.

Kish: I knew she was going to be paired with me!
Lettuce: Oh my, is that so? _{How strange... I don't see why anyone in their right mind would want their character paired with you.} ^___^
Kish: Erk...
Fushi: Hey, look! A lesbian elf!
Kish: I said stop that!

This weird transformation ended, leaving me in the hot pink clothing. Keiichiro was smiling at me. I don’t know what the smile was for, and I didn’t want to know, either.

Ichigo: Deja vu much?
Fushi: This is just like the way Masaya smiled at Ichigo before the h-scene in Candy Pop In Love.
Kish: You really need to upload the doujin reviews to the MST site. Or something like that.
Fushi: Maybe I will, Kish. Maybe I will.
Ichigo&Mint: Don't.

“Welcome to our gang, Mew Mew Sakura!”

“Mew Sakura?” I gasped. “What’s a Mew?”

Mint: I mean, we've only saved Tokyo how many times?
Ichigo: You can't just forget about the whole "poisonous moth contaminates the air" incident.
Mint: Or the "giant dome threatens to overheat the city" incident.
Ichigo: Or the "Deep Blue annihilates Tokyo" incident.
Kish: Something like that doesn't just slip one's mind.
...
Ichigo: Wait... weren't all of those incidents partially your fault?
Kish: Oh sh!--

“A Mew Mew is someone who is infused with the DNA of an endangered animal.” Keiichiro explained.

Pudding: I'M INFUSED WITH THE DHA OF A GOLDEN LION TAMARIN

“An endangered animal?” I turned to a blank computer screen so I could see my reflection. I focused my attention on the wings on my back. “I never knew butterflies were endangered.” I cried. Poor butterflies.

Fushi: Crybaby.

“Some types of butterflies are, others are safe, for now.” Keiichiro stated.

I turned to face him. “Why am I a Mew Mew?” I asked. Many questions were racing through my mind at that moment in time. Why am I a Mew? How did I become a Mew? What fate awaited me now that I’m a mutant?

Fushi (as Keiichiro): Well, let me tell you something.
Mint: Oh god. Don't do it, Fushi.
Fushi (as Keiichiro): When me and your mother were just in junior high, we went on our first date. Later as we grew I was also somehow two different people.
Mint: How is this even relevant to the fanfic at all?
Fushi (as Keiichiro): Your mother was a powerful Mew Mew, as we have told you. Your mother was a mutant cheeto.
...
Mint: Are you done now?
Fushi: Yup.
Kish: That... was BEAUTIFUL! *sob*
Ichigo: I can't believe you seriously just gave up the chance to make "MEWtant" reference.
Fushi: .......dammit!

“Because your DNA was suitable for the infusion.” Keiichiro sat in the chair which was in front of the computer. “So we zapped you.”

Mint: Infused, not "zapped".

“Z-z-zapped me?”

Mint: Infused!

I cried. “When?”

Fushi: Crybaby.

“30 hours ago, to be exact.” I could see Keiichiro’s reflection through the computer screen. He was smiling. But it wasn’t any ordinary smile. It was one of those smiles where they know something you don’t know.

Fushi (as Keiichiro):

“30 hours ago?” I repeated.

“Yes. 10:03 Saturday morning, when you was on the hill in the park opposite this café.”

Mint: "You were". It'd be very unlike Keiichiro to make a mistake like that. So much for in-character.
Kish: In-character? There is no such thing as in-character in a Tokyo Mew Mew fic.
Mint: Got me there.

“Saturday morning…”

Fushi: FLASHBACK SEQUENCE, WHOOOOOOOA

“Sayonara, Sakura-chan!” My mother yelled from the kitchen as I opened the front door.

Mint: Why would her mother call her "Sakura-chan"?
Ichigo: I guess Wapanese tendencies are passed down amongst generations.
Mint: ....okay, what's with the vocabulary?
Ichigo: I'm going into yandere mode.
Mint: Sh!t.

“Sayonara.” I walked out of the house and closed the door behind me before running in the direction of Minako’s house. I had just got back from Malta

Fushi: FFFFFFFFFFFF MALTA AGAIN
Kish: Might I direct you to this page. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malta
Fushi: ...hey, how about that Malta!

and I had bought Minako a souvenir. I hoped that she would like it. It had cost me 6, 000 yen in Maltese currency. I wouldn’t spend that much on any other friend.

Fushi: This is the part where we feel kinda sad that her friend not-really-ditched her. Everybody ready?
Fushi&Ichigo&Kish: Awwwwwwww.
Mint: ...no.

The temperature was satisfying. It was 26 degrees Celsius and there was a warm, light breeze. There were no clouds in the calm, blue sky and the trees were filled with green leaves, rich in colour. The streets of Tokyo were empty, maybe because it was 8:30 in the morning and everyone was just getting up. A few cars passed me, but the roads weren’t busy.

Fushi: Oh god, don't do this. I can't MST pointless details. Someone throw out a "kawaii" I can laugh at! A plot device, deus ex machina, anything!

After turning a few street corners, I had arrived at Minako’s. She was usually up at this time, so I could see her reaction to the gift.

The souvenir was an ornament of a dolphin jumping over a wave. Her name, which costs extra just to put it on, was under the wave, floating on the marble sea. Minako loved dolphins, so I preferred to buy her this gift, rather than the same gift, but with a Tiger in a jungle.

Mint: Is it necessary to mention the tiger one? That's just... kind of distracting.
Fushi: Can't... MST... losing... will to live...

I knocked on the door, waiting for Minako or her father to answer. Her mother was always at work at this time of the morning, so it would be highly unlikely that she would answer.

The door handle was moving, meaning somebody was answering. I waited as the door opened slowly, showing Minako’s father standing there in his work uniform, black business suit and brief case, it looked like he was just about to leave.

Fushi: This isn't even Tokyo Mew Mew now... Someone Kamehameha a Celebi or something!!

“Oh, Ohayou, Sakura-bozu.” Minako’s father greeted.

Mint: Well, you got your Wapanese.
Fushi: HALLELUJAH, WAPANESE

I hated that honorific. It made me feel younger than I was. “Ohayou, Kinako-san.” I bowed my head in respect to Minako’s father.

“What can I do for you?” He asked.

I lifted my head back up to meet his gaze. “Is Minako-chan home?”

“No sorry, she’s gone shopping with the girl next door.” Kinako frowned.

Fushi: Foooooreshadowiiiiing~
Mint: You seem to have changed moods quickly.
Fushi: I thrive on weeaboo idiocy.
Ichigo: I thrive on bloodshed and woe.
Fushi: Yandere mode?
Mint: Yandere mode.

“Oh, well, could you take this and make sure she gets it?” I held out a paper bag which had the ornament inside it. Kinako took it and placed it on the stairs.

Fushi: HEY WHOA WAIT A SECOND. Her Dad's name is Kinako. Minako's Dad... is Kinako.
Kish: Yeah, pretty sure that's not an actual na--
Fushi: That's a girl's name!
Kish: ...wuh?

“She’ll see it there.” He smiled as she closed the front door of his house. “Well I’ve got to get going now. Sayonara, Sakura-bozu.” He walked down the garden path and walked through the gate, heading in the direction I’d just came from.

“Sayonara, Kinako-san!” I shouted as I exited their garden and walked in the opposite direction of my house.

Ichigo: In during long, pointless flashback.
Fushi: We're not even halfway through yet.
Ichigo: So should we do an intermission?
Fushi: Ugh, again? ...well, yeah, it is really freakin' long.
Mint: In that case, let's wait until this scene ends.

At least one hour had passed before I had decided to walk into the park. I had been walking around for a while out of boredom.

Fushi: Looks like the scene ended.
Mint: The next scene, then. This scene.

There was nothing to do since Minako had left me. She said that she would be waiting for me to knock on her door as soon as I got back from Malta. Well, as soon as I got back plus 8 hours, since I had to sleep and gain energy.

Fushi: Well, there we go! Time for an intermission!
Mint: Hey, wa--

~INTERMISSION~